I Don’t Mean to be Ugly, but Expectant Mother Parking…PULEEZE!!!
OK….first and foremost, for those of you who know me…I really try hard NOT to complain. (OK, in all honesty for those of you who TRULY know me…play along and pretend to be surprised.) For those of you who think you know me…let’s carry on. I really do LOVE the idea of a Complaint Free World. I read the book; got the tee shirt. OK, not the tee shirt…the little purple bracelet that goes along with it. If you are not familiar with the concept…You are suppose to go 21 days without uttering a complaint. On average it takes most people 100 plus days before they can do it. In the meantime…you wear your bracelet and every time you catch yourself mouthing or even thinking a complaint (which honestly…what ever happened to the honor system here) you are suppose to move the bracelet from one wrist to the other until you get to a point where you are no longer MOVING your bracelet. I moved that damn bracelet so much within the first few days (okay hours) I looked like the Karate kid doing the wax on, wax off moves. Bracelet on….bracelet off….Grasshopper NOT happy!
OK, so I digress…it’s my story…reference the title and let’s get over it together shall we?
SOOOO….where was I? Oh yes…my story. SO I bank where I shop. Sounds like a great concept on the commercials and lets face it, it would make a whole lot of sense according to them. “Since you are shopping here anyway, why not make it easy on yourself and do your banking too?” BUT…what about the days when all you need to do is BANK? Gas prices being what they are…I try my best to consolidate my trips and so if I have to go to the bank…I might as well find a reason to shop. SO today despite my highly hormonal condition…I headed to the bank/store. I whipped into an up close parking spot only to find that it was marked for “Expectant Mothers”. REALLY???? OK, where were these things when I was a waddling prego all 3 times? As one of my favorite comedians says….the expectant mother parking should be ALL the way at the back of the parking lot cuz in a couple of years their arses are going to be chasing after a defiant two year old and they’ll need the stamina AND the exercise. I reluctantly backed out of my prized spot, but truthfully as an egg carrying female, who’s to say I am NO LONGER qualified as an Expectant Mother???
As a matter of fact…the longer I stewed ( and I had plenty of opportunity to stew while taking my mile long walk from where I HAD to park to the entrance of the store) the more I realized I had every right to that parking space. What mother isn’t EXPECTANT? As a mother we EXPECT our children to clean their rooms. We EXPECT them to do well in school. We EXPECT that they will grow up to be outstanding, productive members of our society. We EXPECT that someday they will MOVE OUT and allow us the thrill of an empty nest and then we will EXPECT them (Insert Mother Guilt Here) to call us every Sunday if that’s not asking to much! Need I go on??? I’m an EXPECTANT mother damn it and thus entitled to the coveted parking spot!!!
Now if you will pardon me I need to go move my bracelet AND pour myself a glass of wine from the bottle I had to purchase due to the rising cost of gas and the need to consolidate my banking and shopping needs. I EXPECT to feel less cranky in a glass or two. 
This post is a perfect example of why YOU need to blog~ you save me the trouble of expressing this complaint myself. I swear I jotted down a “note to self” on Monday to remember to rant…I mean blog about the “‘Mother With Children” parking spot. I actually WANT a cop to issue me a ticket for parking there solo. (BTW, there were not one or two, but FOUR empty spots with that sign on them!). I would never dream of parking in a handicapped spot, no matter how pressed for time I am, but a “Mother With Children” spot…out of my way! Children? Yep, I’ve got 3. Are they with me? Nope! But when they were I schlepped them in and out of the store, rain or shine and never felt entitled to a close up spot…but I’ll take one now. Thank you very much!
Ohhhhh Linda! That is another huge pet peeve of mine! I agree that you are entitled to park there…no where on the sign does it say children must be present. : )
My tummy still hurts! I need notification when your blogs come out! No and I am not pregnant!Love it!
So happy you laughed until your tummy hurt…that is the BEST kind of laughter Michelle. I don’t know how to post notifications for the blog (just yet). I’m on a major learning curve but, I am hoping to post something new every Thursday day.
I thought I was the only one who finds these things ridiculous! Oh, Oh… and don’t get me started on the double-wide strollers parting the crowds like the Red Sea. You know what? Get in line, little Mommy. Been there and never done that. I don’t give up a parking spot for an able bodied woman and an able bodied child. I am willing to give up a spot for an older person because they’ve earned their stripes and deserve the respect… and the parking spot! So Mommy-to-Be, if you are healthy you need to put on your supportive shoes and give those legs a workout. And Mommy-with-Kids in tow, if you and your kids are able bodied, you’ll welcome the exercise. And Double-Wide-Stroller-Mommy, I’m not budgin’
Bahahahaaaaa Patti!
Funny!
And what about expectant fathers? We work hard, too, when our wives are pregnant. And, when your wife needs something NOW, you need to cut precious seconds off of your store time, for OUR health.
Roger you bring up a very valid point. There should be at least a couple of parking spaces dedicated to the expectant fathers on missions for chocolate, icecream, pickles etc.
I say we clone Roger and use the money for wine and chocolate!