South Pause
Peri-Menopause is non-discriminatory. If you are a woman, chances are you will experience menopause and one or more of its symptoms. Is menopause any more unbearable for women of Southern Exposure??? I put this questions to my suffering southern sisters and found that with good Southern humor we actually have some advantages of Pausing in the South.
Hot flashes aren’t symptoms-they’re a way of life down south. We have 100 percent humidity so we are very experienced in dealing with ‘the vapors’ from an early age.
Southern women are well versed in the use of a fan. Watch a well-seasoned southern gal with a hand fan and she will actually charm you with her ability to fan her glistening self. It’s an art form.
We get 9 months of Air Conditioning.
Iced Tea is served 12 months out of the year.
Ceiling Fans…we love our ceiling fans so much we even have them on our porches.
Memory lapses are no big deal as we only have to remember two first names…Honey and Sugar and the bonus is they are inter changeable and non gender specific.
We Don’t Do Panty Hose Down South.
“Bless Your Heart” is the be all, do all, Southern way of telling someone off while maintaining a smile.
When truly agitated we can channel our favorite Southern Gentleman and simply state, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
And lastly…the South burned once and it rose again…so shall we!
Hilarious because it’s true.
I moved to the South almost exactly 10 years ago, which just happened to be smack dab in the middle of my peri-menopause to menopause journey. As I was learning how to deal with the Southern heat and humidity, I was also learning how to deal with the meno-flash-n-sweats.
I now own a nice selection of fans (you’re right, they are indispensable), many sundresses, and absolutely NO pantyhose! Iced tea (never sweet tea for me – yuk) was a life saver many times. Not just drinking it but sticking the cold dripping wet glass to my face, too. ahhhh…
I have tried to adopt the Honey/Sugar thingy to save my memory lapse embarrassment, but couldn’t quite do it. However, the “bless your heart” thingy is priceless.
I also learned how much easier it is to get ready to go someplace in the South. Sunglasses, hair clip, and lipstick is everything I need to leave the house. I chuckle when family comes to visit and the ladies get all gussied up with their eye makeup and hairdo, and then we step outside. Back into the house, wash their face, pull up their hair in a clippy, put on lipstick, sunglasses, and try again.
And, you delicately avoided the obvious, just like a good Southern Lady such as yourself would do. But, being a Northerner, I will have the audacity to mention the unmentionable. Even though Miss Scarlet’s gown LOOKS hot and uncomfortable, I guaran-damn-tee y’all she’s not wearing her panties under there! Ah ha… catchin’ a breeze.
So, yeah, being planted here in the South during my ‘vapors’ may have worked out just fine.
Thanks for sharing your incredible insights, Gina. I enjoyed myself tremendously, as usual.