Keep me from going completely insane
As my youthful appearance withers and wanes
Greeting each symptom with dignity and grace
Accepting with compassion the wrinkles on my face.
I pray that you keep my boobs from sagging
Lift up my spirits when they are dragging
Lesson the mood swings and hot flashes so severe
Take mercy on my waist line and on my derriere.
And as you provide me all that I’m requesting
For my hormonal girlfriends… grant them these same blessings.